"BROKEN TRUST"
FRACTURED FAMILY
"BROKEN TRUST"
"Nothing binds like a trust kept, and nothing divides like a trust broken. It may take a long time to invest in and build up trust but once it is broken, rebuilding trust is like crying over spilt milk."
What is trust? Can one trust without believing? The answer is no. For one to trust, one must first and foremost have belief, confidence, assurance and hope in the ability, reliance, strength, character and truth about someone or something. This means you have confidence in someone or something under any circumstance you will not be betrayed or disappointed.
"In sum , trust is a total absence of betrayal, and a complete presence of hope and certainty in someone or thing."
The matriarch had this trust in Chief Orisa and everyone around her. With this mindset, she carried out various projects, building hope, better life and legacies for her family. She and Uncle Orisa had a joint account with Union Bank Umuahia. As the story was told, the account was originally Uncle Orisa's, but he added and gave her access and authorization, therefore enabling her with the financing of his building project- COBIBA. As time went on, the matriarch started banking her own money in similar bank account. Her monthly salary, and pension got paid into it.
What was more, Uncle Orisa's financial situation became uncertain, and the matriarch began to finance the building project from her own money. As a resident grandchild, I was her errand boy in this regard. Even the rents accruable from her house were shovelled into that project with the hope she was building hope, trust, better life and legacies for her family.
However, one day the matriarch confineded in me that she had set aside a huge amount of money for her two daughters; Aunties Eji and Ebby for the sole purpose of her burial rites according to our tradition. She further instructed me to convey to her son( Uncle Orisa) that when she joined her ancestors, he should give her daughters access to it to enable them fulfill her burial rites. But surprisingly and to her disappointment, Chief Orisa appropriated and misused this money kept in trust. In fact, he bankrolled the first phase of his building project where he now resides with the matriarch's fund. Inroads were made into the fund without the matriarch's knowledge and permission. This breach of trust devastated her and she began to weep hysterically, seeking an alternative. At this point, she had a series of telephone conversations with me,during which she had informed me about her startling discovery with regard to the mismanagement of her money by her own son. She disclosed her fears and unwillingness to continue to lodge her feeding money into that account.
Moreover, the incident got her at her wit's end. She requested if she could be allowed to lodge the little money she had for her upkeep into my account with UBA Umuahia. Her request was granted. I had asked my elder brother (Ikechi) to include both himself and her to the bank account.
"Once bitten, twice shy."
In her words, Orisa has really misused my money, you are my grandchildren and I know you would not betray my trust in you."
Unbeknownst to her, the deeper betrayal and breach of trust were in the offing. My passbook was in her possession with a clearly stated amount of money still in the bank account. As time went on, she started nursing a sinking feeling regarding her money in that account. She had called in to express her fears my brother could misuse her money, but I reassured her he would not do such a thing. She kept being worried and wanted to know when I would be home so that I could visit the bank and assess the state of the account.
Eventually I visited home, and was at the bank, and I requested a comprehensive bank account statement. Lo and behold, the matriarch's fears were confirmed. According to the bank statement, Ikechi had withdrawn money from the matriarch's fund without her authorization. How did this happen, while the passbook was in her custody? He secured himself an ATM bank card and with it, he made unauthorized withdrawal from the bank account.
Furthermore, I requested there and then for the closure of the account. The bank told me that according to their banking policy, all signatories to the account must be present at the bank to effect the closure of the account. I protested this, citing the health condition of the matriarch and her inability to make it to the bank. I wanted to do this as a surprise to my brother. As this failed, the next option was to withdraw the remaining money in the account. I withdrew the remnant fund and immediately Ikechi received an alert, because he gave his telephone number to the bank during the opening of the account for this purpose. This way he became aware there was a serious problem for him, because of his betrayal of the trust which the matriarch had in him. He began to distance himself from her.
Nevertheless, the matriarch did not want to tell our uncle about this incident, but somehow he got to know about it. Suddenly all hell broke loose. The Matriarch firmly stood her ground not to discuss it with him. I even went to bat for the matriarch and Ikechi, because the bulk of the money in the account was mine. From this account, financial succor was offered by me to many including chief. Chief excoriated me to the surprise of my granny, father, Aunties; Eji and Alice. He threatened to close my account and stop the matriarch's continued stipend from the USA. He requested me to close the account, but I declined ,because the account was mine and not the matriarch's. He further said, I should concentrate on my mom and let his mom alone. This got me infuriated. He told me to take the matriarch with me to Germany and open an account for her there. I replied, "Mama is also my mom." At this point, I revealed to them what the matriarch told me about her burial, in the presence of my father of the blessed memory, my granny of the blessed memory, Aunties; Eji and Alice.
" Mama told me where she wished to be laid in state and buried when she joined her ancestors."
Uncle Orisa protested why should I be the one to be told this by the matriarch, while he himself existed. However, he said, their father told Da Alice similar thing about his own burial should he join his ancestors.
In fact, Chief's reaction and diatribe toward me was more than enough to engender mortal enmity between us. But I did not let things go out of control. He did not show any remorse for his excesses or even tried to apologize to me. For him, it was elder one, younger one misunderstanding. The matriarch later did call him to order in this regard. He had always questioned my authority to air my views with regard to family's issues.
Auntie Ebby also called in and asked me about the ownership of the bank account, I furnished her with copious details thereto. She echoed her younger brother with regard to it being closed. She continued, "If Orisa did not control mama's money, he is no longer a man." I replied, "Is he Mama's first son?" In similar token, she said Mama revealed her burial wishes to me, because I lived with her. In her words, " Uzodimma, Mama revealed to you where she would wished to be buried because you lived with her, and your uncle was in the United States."
Finally, the trust the matriarch had in her son and grandson was patently and brazenly breached to her deep shock. Despite that, she graciously blessed and forgave them, knowing full well that this world and its glory were vanity upon vanity. What an impressive and a remarkable matriarch she was!
What is trust? Can one trust without believing? The answer is no. For one to trust, one must first and foremost have belief, confidence, assurance and hope in the ability, reliance, strength, character and truth about someone or something. This means you have confidence in someone or something under any circumstance you will not be betrayed or disappointed.
"In sum , trust is a total absence of betrayal, and a complete presence of hope and certainty in someone or thing."
The matriarch had this trust in Chief Orisa and everyone around her. With this mindset, she carried out various projects, building hope, better life and legacies for her family. She and Uncle Orisa had a joint account with Union Bank Umuahia. As the story was told, the account was originally Uncle Orisa's, but he added and gave her access and authorization, therefore enabling her with the financing of his building project- COBIBA. As time went on, the matriarch started banking her own money in similar bank account. Her monthly salary, and pension got paid into it.
What was more, Uncle Orisa's financial situation became uncertain, and the matriarch began to finance the building project from her own money. As a resident grandchild, I was her errand boy in this regard. Even the rents accruable from her house were shovelled into that project with the hope she was building hope, trust, better life and legacies for her family.
However, one day the matriarch confineded in me that she had set aside a huge amount of money for her two daughters; Aunties Eji and Ebby for the sole purpose of her burial rites according to our tradition. She further instructed me to convey to her son( Uncle Orisa) that when she joined her ancestors, he should give her daughters access to it to enable them fulfill her burial rites. But surprisingly and to her disappointment, Chief Orisa appropriated and misused this money kept in trust. In fact, he bankrolled the first phase of his building project where he now resides with the matriarch's fund. Inroads were made into the fund without the matriarch's knowledge and permission. This breach of trust devastated her and she began to weep hysterically, seeking an alternative. At this point, she had a series of telephone conversations with me,during which she had informed me about her startling discovery with regard to the mismanagement of her money by her own son. She disclosed her fears and unwillingness to continue to lodge her feeding money into that account.
Moreover, the incident got her at her wit's end. She requested if she could be allowed to lodge the little money she had for her upkeep into my account with UBA Umuahia. Her request was granted. I had asked my elder brother (Ikechi) to include both himself and her to the bank account.
"Once bitten, twice shy."
In her words, Orisa has really misused my money, you are my grandchildren and I know you would not betray my trust in you."
Unbeknownst to her, the deeper betrayal and breach of trust were in the offing. My passbook was in her possession with a clearly stated amount of money still in the bank account. As time went on, she started nursing a sinking feeling regarding her money in that account. She had called in to express her fears my brother could misuse her money, but I reassured her he would not do such a thing. She kept being worried and wanted to know when I would be home so that I could visit the bank and assess the state of the account.
Eventually I visited home, and was at the bank, and I requested a comprehensive bank account statement. Lo and behold, the matriarch's fears were confirmed. According to the bank statement, Ikechi had withdrawn money from the matriarch's fund without her authorization. How did this happen, while the passbook was in her custody? He secured himself an ATM bank card and with it, he made unauthorized withdrawal from the bank account.
Furthermore, I requested there and then for the closure of the account. The bank told me that according to their banking policy, all signatories to the account must be present at the bank to effect the closure of the account. I protested this, citing the health condition of the matriarch and her inability to make it to the bank. I wanted to do this as a surprise to my brother. As this failed, the next option was to withdraw the remaining money in the account. I withdrew the remnant fund and immediately Ikechi received an alert, because he gave his telephone number to the bank during the opening of the account for this purpose. This way he became aware there was a serious problem for him, because of his betrayal of the trust which the matriarch had in him. He began to distance himself from her.
Nevertheless, the matriarch did not want to tell our uncle about this incident, but somehow he got to know about it. Suddenly all hell broke loose. The Matriarch firmly stood her ground not to discuss it with him. I even went to bat for the matriarch and Ikechi, because the bulk of the money in the account was mine. From this account, financial succor was offered by me to many including chief. Chief excoriated me to the surprise of my granny, father, Aunties; Eji and Alice. He threatened to close my account and stop the matriarch's continued stipend from the USA. He requested me to close the account, but I declined ,because the account was mine and not the matriarch's. He further said, I should concentrate on my mom and let his mom alone. This got me infuriated. He told me to take the matriarch with me to Germany and open an account for her there. I replied, "Mama is also my mom." At this point, I revealed to them what the matriarch told me about her burial, in the presence of my father of the blessed memory, my granny of the blessed memory, Aunties; Eji and Alice.
" Mama told me where she wished to be laid in state and buried when she joined her ancestors."
Uncle Orisa protested why should I be the one to be told this by the matriarch, while he himself existed. However, he said, their father told Da Alice similar thing about his own burial should he join his ancestors.
In fact, Chief's reaction and diatribe toward me was more than enough to engender mortal enmity between us. But I did not let things go out of control. He did not show any remorse for his excesses or even tried to apologize to me. For him, it was elder one, younger one misunderstanding. The matriarch later did call him to order in this regard. He had always questioned my authority to air my views with regard to family's issues.
Auntie Ebby also called in and asked me about the ownership of the bank account, I furnished her with copious details thereto. She echoed her younger brother with regard to it being closed. She continued, "If Orisa did not control mama's money, he is no longer a man." I replied, "Is he Mama's first son?" In similar token, she said Mama revealed her burial wishes to me, because I lived with her. In her words, " Uzodimma, Mama revealed to you where she would wished to be buried because you lived with her, and your uncle was in the United States."
My response, "Auntie this is spiritual, you people do not have to challenge God. After all my dad was at home, and why did mama not reveal that to him?"
Silence took over the telephone conversation.
Finally, the trust the matriarch had in her son and grandson was patently and brazenly breached to her deep shock. Despite that, she graciously blessed and forgave them, knowing full well that this world and its glory were vanity upon vanity. What an impressive and a remarkable matriarch she was!
When the roots are poisoned,the fruits cannot be sweet.
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