"THE DEPTH OF MAN'S INHUMANITY TO MAN"

FRACTURED FAMILY

"The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles" - Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels.


"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely"  - Lord Acton. 


   

THE DEPTH OF MAN'S INHUMANITY TO

                          MAN

The state of affairs in the family was under control, not only because of those in the driver's seat but also due to those regarded as plebeians who, out of a sheer desire not to disrupt the fragile peace, played along. However, beneath this beautiful façade lay malicious rancor and acrimony. As family members became more aware and conscious of their surroundings, the web and veil of presumed and affected tranquility were lifted, exposing years of pent-up bitterness. The powers that be felt their authority threatened and questioned by this dawning awareness. This downward spiral deepened the already existing suspicion and mistrust among family members. All became obviously suspicious of one another. The welfare and lives of one another hung in the balance, as the family's internal strife continued to escalate.

It reached an unbearable point when the family's fallen patriarch, Mr. 'B', fell ill. The illness, which began as a minor issue, degenerated into a life-threatening ailment. This sickness seemed determined to claim him, regardless of the treatments he received. I did my best, following the matriarch's instructions, to resuscitate his health, but all efforts were met with a series of setbacks. This situation took a toll on her waning health as well. 

When I informed my uncle about my dad's ill health, his response displayed indifference. He said, "When I last met him at one of the Ukaonu's house opening ceremony, he did not look sick." The matriarch also requested him to visit the ancestral homestead to assess his elder brother's health, but he was hesitant, responding with, "Go and ask him."

Upon my arrival from Nigeria, I called my Auntie, Ebby, and she debriefed me. After I informed her about her eldest brother's health, her only question was, "Was he admitted?" To this day, just like Chief Orisa, she has not asked what was actually wrong with him. Their attitude toward their brother was clearly linked to the bitterness that had engulfed and eroded the family's fabric.

As the patriarch's health hopelessly deteriorated, I learned from the matriarch that he had been admitted to the Federal Medical Center in Umuahia by my uncle. I, however, called to appreciate his gesture. My gratitude was well appreciated and acknowledged by him, but not without resentment seeming to be directed toward my two half-brothers, Stanley and Daniel. He continued to let me know that this was not the first time he had undertaken such a life-rescuing mission or responsibility. I answered, "Yes, but I also assisted financially in this regard then." Beneath this gesture was a fearful specter of bitterness and hatred toward Stanley and Daniel. He said they had not informed him that his brother was ill. But I responded, "I told you myself that he was not feeling well, but you did not say anything. Mama also informed you about it." He answered, "Is it Mama who's supposed to inform me about it?"

According to him, it was Ugwumba Oriaku, the President General of Afara-Ukwu Autonomous Community, who called him with a plea to do something about his elder brother's deteriorating health.

The destructive power of bitterness and disunity can be seen at work here. My uncle only budged with the nudge of our kinsman, after disregarding the family members' information regarding his brother's ill health.

With a heart saturated with thankfulness, I told him that I would take over from there, which I did. My decision in this regard was a result of the recent misunderstanding between my dad and my uncle, during which he disdained him in my presence, and to further prevent the usual tirade that we always shifted our responsibility to them. I assumed full financial responsibility regarding my dad's medicals. My uncle's occasional visit to the hospital was to fulfill all righteousness with regard to tradition. The visit was very short and hurried; he never interacted with the doctors who treated his brother to ascertain any diagnoses and possible prognoses.

My half-brothers had shown remarkable filial care to our ailing father, doing everything in their power to support him. However, fate had other plans for the man whose life hung precariously in the balance. In contrast, our elder brother, Ikechi, remained indifferent to the patriarch's illness, largely due to their strained relationship. Despite my several frantic and sincere efforts to reconcile them, I was unsuccessful. Ikechi's lack of interest was palpable, and people had to persuade him to visit his bedridden father. Even when he was present at the hospital, his presence felt like absence. He kept his distance from the sick man,did not engage with the doctors, and showed no interest in his father's condition. Ironically, he seemed to sense the impending outcome, having predicted the end of the man who had fought to live.

Daniel had a boisterous exchange with our uncle, Chief Orisa, at the hospital due to his rather lackadaisical attitude toward his ailing and dying elder brother. 

Meanwhile, Stanley had attempted to perpetrate a fraud by giving Chief a list of needed medical items we had already bought, hoping he would cash them in. However, his luck ran out with his criminal scheme. On the contrary, Chief purchased the already provided items and brought them to the hospital himself later. Daniel informed him that they already had those items and suggested returning them to recoup the money, which could be spent in the near future if the need arose. But Chief was stubborn, insisting on keeping them for the record. This stubbornness stung Daniel like a bee. Daniel asked him to leave the hospital with the unnecessary items and further questioned his presence at the hospital. Chief replied that he came because of his elder brother, prompting Daniel to ask if it was only then that he realized our father was his elder brother. As all this unfolded, Stanley, washed over with an eeerie feeling,  faded into the background. In fact,Stanley's credibility hung in the balance due to this singular underhanded attempt of his.

A medical recommendation had been made for the patriarch to undergo dialysis. However, considering his age and associated health risks, we decided to discontinue the process after making all necessary payments and preparations. At this point, the patriarch became homesick and requested to be taken home. The hospital bills were paid, and he was subsequently taken home. Nonetheless, his situation did not improve. I hired a visiting nurse to attend to him. My sister-in-law's doctor relative, residing in Lagos, recommended additional medical tests alongside the series already conducted; these were carried out, analyzed, and followed by prescriptions that were filled. We were racing against the clock to save our father's life. 

Meanwhile, our beloved and benevolent grandmother was pining away, unable to set eyes on her son again.
She fearfully, yet prayerfully, wished he would survive to oversee her own burial. As if she knew her own days were numbered, she kept preparing choice dishes for her son's last supper, which he heartily consumed with a heart full of thankfulness. I did everything humanly possible to ensure our dad's survival, but fate had its way. The herbal drugs I ordered from Osun State were in transit, when on November 23rd, 2024, he yielded to death, and his light went out.

His burial, like his mom's, was a contentious affair. Two days after his death, my uncle, Chief Orisa, called in only to ask me if I had heard what happened, and I answered in the affirmative. He told me to consult with my siblings for his burial. There was no expression of sympathy from him for my irreparable loss. In his words, "Reach out to your siblings, to give the dead his rightful pride of place." His lack of feelings and comment surprised me, to the extent I teared up. But I summed up courage as a man, putting my trust in God who would not place upon me a burden I could not shoulder.

However, my elder brother, who had been in enmity with the entire family, called in to break the news of our father's demise, which already was stale to me. I informed him of my experience with our uncle regarding our dad's death and concerning his burial. As the first child of our father, I requested him to visit our uncle, Chief Orisa, and our aunts; Da Alice, and Da Ejituru, in the company of Stanley, and officially inform them about our bereavement and the arrangements toward his interment. Meanwhile, I had also asked him to reach out to Da Ebere for similar reason.

He confirmed my account of the incident between me and our uncle regarding our dad's burial. He eventually realized the gravity or the magnitude of his statement and attitude toward his nephews following their father's death. As I consistently escalated the matter, he engaged in very weak damage limitation that died upon arrival. He brazenly and patently denied his statement.

Ikechi and Stanley received the same directive: to bury their dead. However, instead of our uncle taking responsibility, he consistently shifted blame. He claimed he was not informed about his brother's hospital discharge and that I had told him to "hands off." But that was not what happened. I had expressed gratitude for his belated intervention and informed him that  I would take over from there. The phrase "hands off" was his, not mine.

In fact, "take over" and "hands off" have different meanings in English, both grammatically and contextually. It is clear that our uncle showed a lack of interest in his brother's well-being. He only admitted him to the hospital after persuasion, and his subsequent attitude was unimpressive. If he were truly concerned, he would have known about his brother's condition and discharge.

The dynamics between our uncle and our father seemed to be marked by a power struggle. Our father had never begrudged his younger brother during his lifetime, but after his passing, the dynamics changed. As a man of principle, he had attached no importance to fame or materialism. He was merely a figurehead as the first son of our granny, while Chief Orisa was the de facto first son of the matriarch.

Despite their attempts to humiliate and ridicule us during our father's burial, God's grace prevailed. The burial was a huge success, leaving them surprised and disappointed.

"Death is a universal debt we all must settle, each in our own way and time. Whether it is early or late, the outcome remains the same. What truly matters is what lies beyond. Yet, some people react to loss with insensitivity, gloating over the pain of others as if they are immune to mortality. I have experienced this firsthand. When my father passed away, some relatives failed to show empathy. Auntie Ebere's children and Auntie Eji's sons, for instance, did not reach out to offer condolences. Moreover, when Ugochi accidentally found herself in my home, in the company of her mother, she warned her not to speak to me about my loss. It is puzzling when family members do not provide support during difficult times, leaving one to wonder about the true meaning of family."

"There was a dangerous, ferocious, and deadly attempt to liquidate Daniel through the State Security Service's hitmen, who lured him into almost swallowing their bait, with a contract for sinking a borehole for them mouthwateringly used as a decoy. He extricated himself from their entanglement by the unseen hand of the Almighty God and took a supersonic flight for his dear life. His cellphone was smashed to shreds and beyond repair, and as a result, he was temporarily put out of communication or was incommunicado.

The investigation into the incident linked it to the family's feud, which in my view was pretty unnecessary. It was shockingly revealed that Chief Orisa filed a petition with the SSS against Daniel due to alleged threats he made toward him. The gravity of this incident, which nearly claimed Dan's life, shook Chief Orisa visibly, and he truly confessed that he never knew such was the SSS' modus operandi. The intention was well thought out, either to apprehend and put Dan away for life or liquidate him without a trace, but fate had other plans. It was not yet time for him to exit this malicious and sinful earth.

Surprisingly, those who were hired to do this gory job were also those who let the cat out of the bag. One of them knew the target, and presumably, nature used him to save the life of the hunted. It was very disgusting for a brother to go to such lengths against his own brother. Could he not have involved other brothers or kinsmen? Was this a display of might or bravery? When a brother neutralizes another brother, does it attract laurels?

Furthermore, what actually highlighted the degree of bitterness, hatred, and divide was that Da Ebere, Da Alice, Da Nne, Ikechi, and others were present and probably privy to it; either consciously or unconsciously, they chose not to call Chief Orisa out for his high-handedness. Rather, the victim came under unfair criticism from them. Our elder brother claimed he mediated by getting Ngozi Ijebuonwu involved, who aided in appealing to Chief Orisa to withdraw the case.

Does Auntie Ebere not know who Chief Orisa's wife is? Did not events repeat themselves in her presence? Was she not there when Bose humiliated Dan in their home? Did she call her out for her excesses? Auntie Ebby knew what the problem was but refused to censure her. What was she afraid of losing? This was preconception, prejudice, and bias at play."

"The depth of man's inhumanity to man,is pretty an enigma."