"BLINDING TEARS & PATHOS"
FRACTURED FAMILY
" BLINDING TEARS & PATHOS "
Tears convey a range of emotions - from sorrow, sadness, and pain to joy and surprise. People express their innermost feelings through tears, whether it is deceit, deep sorrow, hurtful resentment, piercing anger, or mourning. Sometimes, tears can be a purging of stress and burden. However, there are also crocodile tears, shed to deceive and attract public sympathy and false empathy.
My focus is on deceitful tears within family dynamics. When a person's behavior towards their siblings and parents becomes a pattern, it is troubling and disturbing. In 2008, my immediate younger sister, Joy Amarachi, fell ill. I sent money for her treatment and asked our elder brother, Ikechi, to get her admitted to the hospital, but he refused, claiming she was old enough to seek medical attention herself. Despite my repeated pleas, he did not prioritize her health until it was too late. We lost her. Ironically, he later named his first daughter after her.
When I sent money for Joy's burial, Ikechi had a disagreement with our father, Chiabuotu Bolingo, over who would oversee the funeral arrangements and manage the funds. He felt sorrowful about Joy's passing, but his actions came too late. I saw his tears as deceitful and insincere.
Years later, in 2024, our father fell seriously ill. Ikechi distanced himself, only visiting the hospital when persuaded by others. His presence made little difference, and he seemed to predict his father's impending demise. After our father's passing, Ikechi informed me about the death and eventually participated in the burial, styling himself as the chief mourner. This was a stark contrast to his absence during our father's illness.
Moreover, when our matriarch fell terminally ill in 2024, Ikechi was nowhere to be found. After her passing, he emerged, styling himself as a principal grandson, claiming to honor her legacy and memories. However, his actions seemed driven by self-interest rather than genuine concern.
Similarly, when our mother, Magdalene Chinyere, fell ill in 2023, Ikechi abandoned her care to me and our sister Akudo. As her condition worsened, Akudo tried to reach him, but he ignored her calls. He instructed Akudo to shroud our mother's corpse and inform him if she passed away, warning her not to cry. Before our mother died on August 1, 2025, Ikechi refused to visit the hospital until persuaded by our Aunt-Eji through the intervention of our maternal uncle. Upon seeing our mother linked to life-support devices, he wept - tears that seemed insincere to Akudo.
Throughout our mother's hospitalization, I spared no expense in trying to save her life. Ikechi's attitude towards her was the source of our resentment and sorrow, not her passing. After her death, he rushed to take delivery of her corpse even before the hospital bills were settled. Yet, he later suggested that we give our mother a dignified burial. I told him that the most befitting tribute would have been showing love and care while she was alive.
This pattern of behavior is consistent with his treatment of our other family members.
Ikechi has created a pattern of neglecting his loved ones when they are ill, only to emerge after their passing, pontificating about honoring their legacies. His actions are driven by self-interest, not noble intentions. His crocodile tears should blind him.
" BLINDING TEARS & PATHOS "
Tears convey a range of emotions - from sorrow, sadness, and pain to joy and surprise. People express their innermost feelings through tears, whether it is deceit, deep sorrow, hurtful resentment, piercing anger, or mourning. Sometimes, tears can be a purging of stress and burden. However, there are also crocodile tears, shed to deceive and attract public sympathy and false empathy.
My focus is on deceitful tears within family dynamics. When a person's behavior towards their siblings and parents becomes a pattern, it is troubling and disturbing. In 2008, my immediate younger sister, Joy Amarachi, fell ill. I sent money for her treatment and asked our elder brother, Ikechi, to get her admitted to the hospital, but he refused, claiming she was old enough to seek medical attention herself. Despite my repeated pleas, he did not prioritize her health until it was too late. We lost her. Ironically, he later named his first daughter after her.
When I sent money for Joy's burial, Ikechi had a disagreement with our father, Chiabuotu Bolingo, over who would oversee the funeral arrangements and manage the funds. He felt sorrowful about Joy's passing, but his actions came too late. I saw his tears as deceitful and insincere.
Years later, in 2024, our father fell seriously ill. Ikechi distanced himself, only visiting the hospital when persuaded by others. His presence made little difference, and he seemed to predict his father's impending demise. After our father's passing, Ikechi informed me about the death and eventually participated in the burial, styling himself as the chief mourner. This was a stark contrast to his absence during our father's illness.
Moreover, when our matriarch fell terminally ill in 2024, Ikechi was nowhere to be found. After her passing, he emerged, styling himself as a principal grandson, claiming to honor her legacy and memories. However, his actions seemed driven by self-interest rather than genuine concern.
Similarly, when our mother, Magdalene Chinyere, fell ill in 2023, Ikechi abandoned her care to me and our sister Akudo. As her condition worsened, Akudo tried to reach him, but he ignored her calls. He instructed Akudo to shroud our mother's corpse and inform him if she passed away, warning her not to cry. Before our mother died on August 1, 2025, Ikechi refused to visit the hospital until persuaded by our Aunt-Eji through the intervention of our maternal uncle. Upon seeing our mother linked to life-support devices, he wept - tears that seemed insincere to Akudo.
Throughout our mother's hospitalization, I spared no expense in trying to save her life. Ikechi's attitude towards her was the source of our resentment and sorrow, not her passing. After her death, he rushed to take delivery of her corpse even before the hospital bills were settled. Yet, he later suggested that we give our mother a dignified burial. I told him that the most befitting tribute would have been showing love and care while she was alive.
This pattern of behavior is consistent with his treatment of our other family members.
Ikechi has created a pattern of neglecting his loved ones when they are ill, only to emerge after their passing, pontificating about honoring their legacies. His actions are driven by self-interest, not noble intentions. His crocodile tears should blind him.
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