"THE IMPACT OF INTROSPECTION TOWARD SELF-PEACE AND FAMILY PEACE"

FRACTURED FAMILY

"THE IMPACT OF INTROSPECTION TOWARD SELF-PEACE AND FAMILY PEACE"

Introspection is synonymous with self-examination. This evaluation or estimation of oneself is a very deep and critical inner searching of character and attitude, holistically towards others within one's immediate surrounding and beyond. This inner survey or reflection has a significant and tremendous impact on character modifications and adjustments. It promotes mental, emotional, spiritual, physiological, physical, and sociological well-being, not only of oneself but also of others. Therefore, family peace is a function of self-peace.

Self-peace, which is the bedrock of family harmony, is achievable through reorientation of the mind and mental restructuring. Those trapped in this mindset should be mentally restructured and rehabilitated to escape their comfort zones. They should stop searching for echo chambers and instead think out of the box, differentiating reality from fantasy.

Furthermore, the role of this self-investigation or inner self-inquisition forms the elements of self-peace. It is crucial to investigate how much self-freude one enjoys. Many are at war with themselves, and this self-battle manifests in diverse forms and shapes. Dreams unfulfilled, dashed hopes, expectations not met, promises broken, and trust broken among others engender self-war, which can be very ferocious. These tendencies find expressions through transferred aggression, anger, envy, greed, covetousness, and animus towards the wrong persons within the family or society.

Moreover, those within the family who exhibit such propensities fail to see anything wrong with themselves. They attempt to broker peace within the family without first making peace with themselves. How can they sue for an olive branch within the extended family when they themselves are at war with inner negative tendencies? Peace talks should not be exclusive or attempted when a family member is dead; it should be seen as a necessary need for the well-being and co-existence of persons within the family. It is part of family dynamics to pursue peace with all sincerity and truth.

Our family is extended in nature and comprises many kitchens. Before convening the so-called IJEBUONWU FAMILY WORLD's meeting, each kitchen has to take the bull by the horns by making peace with themselves. This will form the platform for the general peace conference. A brother who is at war with himself lacks the moral standard to broker peace outside or convoke a general family assembly to pontificate about peace when his kitchen is in tatters.

For harmonious co-existence, self-peace should be sought through sober reflections. This way, one has to accept their fate and strive to move on with life. Destiny differs; change things you can, and accept things you cannot change. Dismount your high horse and seek help where you can. Eschew envy and covetousness and be content with what you have. Be self-contained; this way, self-peace is achieved.

A healthy and effective framework that can promote self-peace, which is self-freude, could be to perceive everyone within the family as important in their unique way. Support fair hearing, active listening, open dialogue, and critical thinking. No one should see themselves as the mouthpiece of the family. We are more republican than democratic in nature; that spirit of social contract should be our mantra. This self-peace if promoted, will in turn provoke family harmony. When this harmony exists, its sustenance and consolidation should be through regular family consultations or meetings.

In conclusion, I make bold to say that the family consists not only of male members. What about the female members? Are they not part of the peace process? For instance, 'A' is not at peace with himself and his kitchen, and 'B' is not at peace with himself and his kitchen, just to mention a few. The list can go on and on. I make bold to call out the elders in the family to do the right thing by genuinely including all and sundry in the peace process. But peace at various kitchens should be prioritized before the general peace initiative. Let it be staggered. As already aforementioned, relationships among various members of the family at various kitchens within the family are strained. Until this is done, peace within the extended family will remain a mirage and huge entertainment, if not a grandstand for self-aggrandizement.